Some things explained for RE3

[E_]

The Different Types Of Poop (saw this in a facebook group today LMAO)

Ghost Poop ~~ You know you've pooped. There's poop on the toilet paper, but no poop in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Poop ~~ Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Poop ~~ This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Poop ~~ You're all done wiping your butt and you're about to stand up when you realize it...you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop ~~ This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Poop ~~ You poop so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Poop ~~ You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Poop ~~ This poop is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of poop usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Poop ~~ This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your butt wet.

Wish Poop ~~ You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poop!

Cement Block or Oh God Poop ~~ You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

Snake Poop ~~ This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) ~~ Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Poop (also called Screamers) ~ You'll know it's alright to eat again when your butthole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Poop ~~ This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poop doesn't smell too bad, but this poop is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of poop also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle ~~ The kind of poop that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.

The Bungee Poop ~~ The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Poop ~~ The kind of poop where you eat really spicy food and your butthole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler ~~ The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber ~~ The kind of poop that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ~~ The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Poop ~~ The king of poop that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

Jack the Ripper Poop ~~ The kind of poop that yanks out your butthair as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper ~~ The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Poop ~~ The kind of poop that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl Poop ~~ The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Poop ~~ When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a poop.

Oh Poop! Poop ~~ You poop so much and wipe your butt so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH ****!

The Never Ending Poop ~~ It's the poop that keeps running out of your butt like pee, and just when you start wiping your butt your stomach gargles and splash, more poop runs out. This always happens after eating at K.F.C.

Chipotle poop ~~ an insanse burning that comes from eating a the chipotle wrap from ferris's center ice cafeteria. burning goes away after a good hour or so. eventually you build a tolerance for the burning. but the consistency is like nothing i have seen before

the 3 coiler-with a dairy queen "Q"
this one looks like it was pinched off professionally...and with finesse.
looks like a chocolate dip cone courtesy of dairy queen, and usually happens after eating alot dairy/high fibre cereal combos...ie. yogurt and granola.

How about the "coffee crap" - the wet, watery poop you take right after drinking a hot cup of coffee. Ironically, this poop looks very similar to said beverage!

The Kernel Poop~~ That poop you have after you eat corn. Small yellow kernels are everywhere in the poop. Usually gets eaten by someones cat when their step-brother makes the poop. (He never flushes)

The Oops Poop ~~ When you're sitting on the John reading a book, listening to your i-Pod, whatever, and you place it on your lap or the counter, and when you stand up, whatever you were doing falls into the bowl accidentally. Usually occurs with only the most vile poops, and when you are using something that doesnt belong to you.

The Long Poop~~Your sitting on the toilet for so long and nothing comes out. You really do need to poop, finally it comes out so long after pushing really hard and you start to get up but there's more! Usually there is a lot of wiping to do!

Non stop poop~~your sitting on the toilet and you have diarrhea and you cant stop pooping and then your toilet fills up and you cant flush it your really screwed then!

the double ghost poo- No poo in the bowl and no poo on the paper

Wide Load
their so wide when they get out u find out it cut your butt

the goat poo poop
comes out in tiny little balls



the ouchy poop!
really pointy
makes you wince...

[E_]

(Used to be sent annually every Nov.)

November 12, 1999 IMPORTANT STUFF MAN!!!!! again..........

Once again we have some inexperienced people that have come aboard
and don't know any better and some that have been here a while and
have forgotten how to survive taking a dump. Please read and study this
it may save your life some day.

PS If you don't forward this to 10,000 people spider monkeys will
take over your home and you will develop life long constipation.
Also a criminal will attack you from your back seat while a pop up
screen pops up on your computer with this really cool program. In
addition to that a young 3 year old kid will die and haunt you since
it was his wish before he die that this gets sent all across the
world 50 times. Enjoy!

Thanks

Hillman

You can Scroll Down Now
--- ehillman@lexmark.com wrote:
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 08:57:58 -0500



Subject: November 12, 1999


"1999 Survival Guide for Taking a Dump" Rated PG

Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will
become a pure
pleasure.

ESCAPEE
Definition: A fart that slips out while taking a
leak at the urinal
or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually
accompanied by a sudden
wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the
hot flash you
receive when passing an unseen police car and
speeding. If you release
an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did
not happen. If you
are standing next to the farter at the urinal,
pretend that you did
not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is
uncomfortable for all
involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip
out at a machine
guns pace. This is usually a side effect of
diarrhea or a hangover.
If this should happen do not panic, remain in the
stall until
everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone
the awkwardness
of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the
instant the nose cone
of the poop log hits the water and the poop is
whisked away to an
undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of
air time the poop
has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you
avoid being caught
doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to
the door after
you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a
very uncomfortable
moment if someone walks in. As with all farts, it
is best to pretend
that the smell does not exist.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is
d@mn proud of it.
You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper
enter the bathroom
with a newspaper or magazine under their arm.
Always look around the
office for the Out of the Closet pooper before
entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together
to ensure
emergency pooping goes off without incident. This
group can help you
to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET
POOPERS and identify
SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the
building where
you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are
predominantly of
the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a
pooper of your sex
entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you
are in the stall
and tries to force the door open. This is one of
the most shocking
and vulnerable moments that occur when work taking
a dump at work. If
this occurs; remain in the stall until the TURD
BURGLAR leaves. This
way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough which alerts all new
entrants into the
bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used
to cover-up a
WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS.
Very effective when
used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert
potential TURD
BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will
remove all doubt
that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE,
leave the
bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in
peace.

WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when
hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If
you feel a
WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See
CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a
series of loud splashes
in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an
escapee. Try using a
CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger
around forever. Could
spend extended lengths of time in front of the
mirror or sitting on
the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax
while on the
crapper, as you should always wait to drop your
load when the
bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the
other bathroom
attendees.

FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom
before pooping. Walk
in, check for other poopers. If there are others in
the bathroom,
leave and come back again. Be careful not to become
a FREQUENT FLYER.
People may become suspicious if they catch you
constantly going into
the bathroom.

CRACK WHORE
Definition: A crapper that has seen more a$$ than a
Greyhound Bus.
Tell tale signs of a CRACK WHORE include pubes,
piss stains and $h1t
streaks. Avoid CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try
finding out when the
janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't
forget, a CRACK WHORE
can become a SAFEHAVEN.

[re3too]

Holy Crap = Dead poopboy!

This is jist what I wanted to read this AM! E, you jist ain 't right!

[E_]

HAPPY Nov. 12th Every one!

(Used to be sent annually every Nov.)

November 12, 1999 IMPORTANT STUFF MAN!!!!! again..........

Once again we have some inexperienced people that have come aboard
and don't know any better and some that have been here a while and
have forgotten how to survive taking a dump. Please read and study this
it may save your life some day.

PS If you don't forward this to 10,000 people spider monkeys will
take over your home and you will develop life long constipation.
Also a criminal will attack you from your back seat while a pop up
screen pops up on your computer with this really cool program. In
addition to that a young 3 year old kid will die and haunt you since
it was his wish before he die that this gets sent all across the
world 50 times. Enjoy!

Thanks

Hillman

You can Scroll Down Now
--- ehillman@lexmark.com wrote:
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 08:57:58 -0500



Subject: November 12, 1999


"1999 Survival Guide for Taking a Dump" Rated PG

Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will
become a pure
pleasure.

ESCAPEE
Definition: A fart that slips out while taking a
leak at the urinal
or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually
accompanied by a sudden
wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the
hot flash you
receive when passing an unseen police car and
speeding. If you release
an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did
not happen. If you
are standing next to the farter at the urinal,
pretend that you did
not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is
uncomfortable for all
involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip
out at a machine
guns pace. This is usually a side effect of
diarrhea or a hangover.
If this should happen do not panic, remain in the
stall until
everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone
the awkwardness
of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the
instant the nose cone
of the poop log hits the water and the poop is
whisked away to an
undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of
air time the poop
has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you
avoid being caught
doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to
the door after
you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a
very uncomfortable
moment if someone walks in. As with all farts, it
is best to pretend
that the smell does not exist.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is
d@mn proud of it.
You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper
enter the bathroom
with a newspaper or magazine under their arm.
Always look around the
office for the Out of the Closet pooper before
entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together
to ensure
emergency pooping goes off without incident. This
group can help you
to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET
POOPERS and identify
SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the
building where
you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are
predominantly of
the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a
pooper of your sex
entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you
are in the stall
and tries to force the door open. This is one of
the most shocking
and vulnerable moments that occur when work taking
a dump at work. If
this occurs; remain in the stall until the TURD
BURGLAR leaves. This
way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough which alerts all new
entrants into the
bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used
to cover-up a
WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS.
Very effective when
used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert
potential TURD
BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will
remove all doubt
that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE,
leave the
bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in
peace.

WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when
hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If
you feel a
WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See
CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a
series of loud splashes
in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an
escapee. Try using a
CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger
around forever. Could
spend extended lengths of time in front of the
mirror or sitting on
the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax
while on the
crapper, as you should always wait to drop your
load when the
bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the
other bathroom
attendees.

FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom
before pooping. Walk
in, check for other poopers. If there are others in
the bathroom,
leave and come back again. Be careful not to become
a FREQUENT FLYER.
People may become suspicious if they catch you
constantly going into
the bathroom.

CRACK WHORE
Definition: A crapper that has seen more a$$ than a
Greyhound Bus.
Tell tale signs of a CRACK WHORE include pubes,
piss stains and $h1t
streaks. Avoid CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try
finding out when the
janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't
forget, a CRACK WHORE
can become a SAFEHAVEN.

[re3too]

[E_]

Almost Nov 12th again... Lol

HAPPY Nov. 12th Every one!

(Used to be sent annually every Nov.)

November 12, 1999 IMPORTANT STUFF MAN!!!!! again..........

Once again we have some inexperienced people that have come aboard
and don't know any better and some that have been here a while and
have forgotten how to survive taking a dump. Please read and study this
it may save your life some day.

PS If you don't forward this to 10,000 people spider monkeys will
take over your home and you will develop life long constipation.
Also a criminal will attack you from your back seat while a pop up
screen pops up on your computer with this really cool program. In
addition to that a young 3 year old kid will die and haunt you since
it was his wish before he die that this gets sent all across the
world 50 times. Enjoy!

Thanks

Hillman

You can Scroll Down Now
--- ehillman@lexmark.com wrote:
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 08:57:58 -0500



Subject: November 12, 1999


"1999 Survival Guide for Taking a Dump" Rated PG

Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will
become a pure
pleasure.

ESCAPEE
Definition: A fart that slips out while taking a
leak at the urinal
or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually
accompanied by a sudden
wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the
hot flash you
receive when passing an unseen police car and
speeding. If you release
an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did
not happen. If you
are standing next to the farter at the urinal,
pretend that you did
not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is
uncomfortable for all
involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip
out at a machine
guns pace. This is usually a side effect of
diarrhea or a hangover.
If this should happen do not panic, remain in the
stall until
everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone
the awkwardness
of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the
instant the nose cone
of the poop log hits the water and the poop is
whisked away to an
undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of
air time the poop
has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you
avoid being caught
doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to
the door after
you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a
very uncomfortable
moment if someone walks in. As with all farts, it
is best to pretend
that the smell does not exist.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is
d@mn proud of it.
You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper
enter the bathroom
with a newspaper or magazine under their arm.
Always look around the
office for the Out of the Closet pooper before
entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together
to ensure
emergency pooping goes off without incident. This
group can help you
to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET
POOPERS and identify
SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the
building where
you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are
predominantly of
the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a
pooper of your sex
entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you
are in the stall
and tries to force the door open. This is one of
the most shocking
and vulnerable moments that occur when work taking
a dump at work. If
this occurs; remain in the stall until the TURD
BURGLAR leaves. This
way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough which alerts all new
entrants into the
bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used
to cover-up a
WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS.
Very effective when
used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert
potential TURD
BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will
remove all doubt
that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE,
leave the
bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in
peace.

WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when
hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If
you feel a
WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See
CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a
series of loud splashes
in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an
escapee. Try using a
CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger
around forever. Could
spend extended lengths of time in front of the
mirror or sitting on
the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax
while on the
crapper, as you should always wait to drop your
load when the
bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the
other bathroom
attendees.

FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom
before pooping. Walk
in, check for other poopers. If there are others in
the bathroom,
leave and come back again. Be careful not to become
a FREQUENT FLYER.
People may become suspicious if they catch you
constantly going into
the bathroom.

CRACK WHORE
Definition: A crapper that has seen more a$$ than a
Greyhound Bus.
Tell tale signs of a CRACK WHORE include pubes,
piss stains and $h1t
streaks. Avoid CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try
finding out when the
janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't
forget, a CRACK WHORE
can become a SAFEHAVEN.

[re3too]

You really need to get a life, poopboy! Sheesh!

[No Patience]

You really need to get a life, poopboy! Sheesh!

I think he has one, it is picking on you!

[re3too]

You really need to get a life, poopboy! Sheesh!

I think he has one, it is picking on you!

It's because he wuvs me soooo much!

[No Patience]

You really need to get a life, poopboy! Sheesh!

I think he has one, it is picking on you!

It's because he wuvs me soooo much!

Just trying to keep you young!!

[E_]

Well, I failed there... lol

[re3too]

FUE & BIOYB!

[E_]

Just received an addition!

[Nervous Wreck]

I always called them biguns, 'hammer handles'.

[E_]

21st anniversary of the Nov12th email

viewtopic.php?p=8766&sid=f997d2641f9a65 ... 331c#p8766

[E_]

Happy Nov 12th!

[Mary Lou 2]

This thread is priceless !!!!

[E_]

TTT