After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany
> her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men,
> I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
> Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she
> loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
> following letter from the local Wal-Mart: John
>
> Dear Mrs. RE3
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has been
> causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate
> this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from
> the store . Our complaints against Mr. Chapman are listed
> below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
>
>
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
> go off at 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
> leading to the women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
> an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
> right away.'
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
> put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
>
> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'
> sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
> and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they
> would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding
> department.
>
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
> him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
> people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera
> and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
> department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
> were.
>
> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
> while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
>
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
> his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
> funnels.
>
> 13. October 9: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
> browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. October 14: When an announcement came over the
> loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
> 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>
> And last, but not least ..
>
> 15. October 16: Went into a fitting room, shut the
> door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
> There's no toilet paper in here!'
-----
RE3, no more wall mart
Moderators: E_, LC addict, FasterThanYou, crwky
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
Sheesh! Another thread wif my name in it! Popularity is so tiring! 
FYI: Mr. RE3's favorite store trick is to cut and run, leaving me in the aisle with the stench! Then everybody naturally thinks I did it!
He musta learned that one from poopboy! 
FYI: Mr. RE3's favorite store trick is to cut and run, leaving me in the aisle with the stench! Then everybody naturally thinks I did it!
He musta learned that one from poopboy! "The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
re3too, he's not the only "male" out there, I think they teach them crap like that in grade school! 
Even a broken clock is right twice a day 
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E_
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Re: RE3, no more wall mart
And obviously the only crap they remember!katie wrote:
"The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
Well, there are a couple of other things I could mention, but I think that annoyance is probably at the top of the list! Why do men think it's so funny??? Come on guys, is it because it annoys us so much, or is there another motive????? 
Even a broken clock is right twice a day
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Re: RE3, no more wall mart
Because it is fun to watch you all get mad. duhhh...
Buy American, the job you save just might be your own.
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
E_HILLMAN wrote:Because it is fun to watch you all get mad. duhhh...
Holy crap! Jist admit you do it 1) 'cause it feels good and 2) 'cause your development is so arrested you think it's hilarious! Sheesh!
"The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
Farts are funny! 
Some days I'm the baby, some days I'm the diaper........
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Re: RE3, no more wall mart
Even as mean as you are to me "my lake Grandma" I hope maybe we can get to hang with you all some this year.
(insert guilt trip here) LOL
(insert guilt trip here) LOL
Buy American, the job you save just might be your own.
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
Awwwwww......E_HILLMAN wrote:Even as mean as you are to me "my lake Grandma" I hope maybe we can get to hang with you all some this year.
(insert guilt trip here) LOL
"The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
E_HILLMAN wrote:Because it is fun to watch you all get mad. duhhh...
Heck E, we know that part, you think it is fun to watch us get mad.... what we don't know and I guess we NEVER WILL understand is WHY you think that is fun(ny)... must be that yin/yang thing huh?
That's ok, us women are happy to keep you suckas entertained.... 
Even a broken clock is right twice a day
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- Contact:
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
I guess guys figure girls will find something to get mad for anyway so why not go ahead and it in a amusing manner and then wait for the makup ***
Buy American, the job you save just might be your own.
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
Bet you do more waitin' than ******"!E_HILLMAN wrote:I guess guys figure girls will find something to get mad for anyway so why not go ahead and it in a amusing manner and then wait for the makup ***
"The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)
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Re: RE3, no more wall mart
I have learned to love myself...
Buy American, the job you save just might be your own.
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
EWWW!E_HILLMAN wrote:I have learned to love myself...
"The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)
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Pre2012-Conley Bottom Mostly, Waitsboro, Alligator I&II ramps, Leesford, Pulaski County Park (when it has water), Grider, State Dock (via boat), and Jamestown are a few places you might find me. - Location: Kentucky (Lake Cumberland)
- Contact:
Re: RE3, no more wall mart
re3too wrote:EWWW!E_HILLMAN wrote:I have learned to love myself...
Buy American, the job you save just might be your own.
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$parechange
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Re: RE3, no more wall mart
Being the loving caring husband I am, I NEVER do any of that stuff! I try every day to make her happy! 
I try every day to make her happy! Re: RE3, no more wall mart
Spare Change wrote:Being the loving caring husband I am, I NEVER do any of that stuff!
Holy crap! The only part of that statement that is true is that you are TRYING! Sheesh! "The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)