The Green Thing

[Nervous Wreck]

The Green Thing

In the queue at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring
her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back
in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care
enough to save our environment."

He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store.
The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled,
so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and
office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a
300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We
didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away
kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up
220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got
hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new
clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our
day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And
the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a
screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred
by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When
we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old
newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we
didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push
mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go
to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's
right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a
plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with
ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor
instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we
didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to
school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We
had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a
dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal
beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest
pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were
just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in
conservation from a smartass young person.

Remember: Don't make old People mad.

We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us
off.