Jay Leno
Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 12:20 pm
''We're learning more and more about the new Massachusetts senator, Scott Brown. Well, you probably know this. Back in 1982, he posed naked for Cosmo. Yeah, isn't that amazing? He's got it backwards. First you get elected to the Senate, then you get caught with your pants down.'' —Jay Leno
"The McRib is back. You know, I wondered what they were going to do with Gadhafi's body." –Jay Leno
"The guy who killed Gadhafi was wearing a New York Yankees cap at the time. So, for at least one Yankees fan, it turned out to be a pretty good October." –Jay Leno
"Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to embarrass President Obama for another four years." –Jay Leno
Warren Buffett's company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding." –Jay Leno
"The Republicans had yet another debate the other night. This is their seventh one. They're apparently going to keep having these debates until Rick Perry can get one right." –Jay Leno
"Herman Cain is surging in the polls. Many polls have him ahead of Mitt Romney. He hasn't said who he would choose as his running mate yet, but according to a report, he's had several meetings with Papa John." –Jay Leno
"The Saudi government is upset about this plot to assassinate their ambassador. As you know, Saudi Arabia condemns all acts of terrorism unless, of course, they're sponsoring them." –Jay Leno
"White House Chief of Staff Bill Daley announced he'll be leaving the White House after the election. I get the feeling a lot of people are going to be leaving the White House after the election." –Jay Leno
"Rick Perry's advisers said he prepared for the last debate by getting a lot more sleep. Apparently, he did it during the debate." –Jay Leno
"At one point, Rick Aantorum was interrupted by a gay heckler. But then Michele Bachmann told her husband, 'Just shut up and sit down.
"The McRib is back. You know, I wondered what they were going to do with Gadhafi's body." –Jay Leno
"The guy who killed Gadhafi was wearing a New York Yankees cap at the time. So, for at least one Yankees fan, it turned out to be a pretty good October." –Jay Leno
"Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to embarrass President Obama for another four years." –Jay Leno
Warren Buffett's company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding." –Jay Leno
"The Republicans had yet another debate the other night. This is their seventh one. They're apparently going to keep having these debates until Rick Perry can get one right." –Jay Leno
"Herman Cain is surging in the polls. Many polls have him ahead of Mitt Romney. He hasn't said who he would choose as his running mate yet, but according to a report, he's had several meetings with Papa John." –Jay Leno
"The Saudi government is upset about this plot to assassinate their ambassador. As you know, Saudi Arabia condemns all acts of terrorism unless, of course, they're sponsoring them." –Jay Leno
"White House Chief of Staff Bill Daley announced he'll be leaving the White House after the election. I get the feeling a lot of people are going to be leaving the White House after the election." –Jay Leno
"Rick Perry's advisers said he prepared for the last debate by getting a lot more sleep. Apparently, he did it during the debate." –Jay Leno
"At one point, Rick Aantorum was interrupted by a gay heckler. But then Michele Bachmann told her husband, 'Just shut up and sit down.
