Headlines from 2029
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 1:30 pm
Year 2029
HEADLINES
FROM THE YEAR:
2029
Ozone
created by electric cars now killing millions in
the seventh largest country in the world,
Mexifornia,
formerly
known
as California.
White
minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third
language.
Spotted Owl plague
threatens northwestern United
States crops
and livestock.
Baby conceived
naturally! Scientists
stumped.
Couple petitions
court to reinstate heterosexual
marriage.
Iran still
closed off; physicists estimate it will take at
least 10 more years before radioactivity
decreases to safe
levels.
France
pleads for global help after being taken
over by Jamaica ..
No other country comes forward to help the
beleaguered
nation!
Castro
finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be
imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton
has banned all
smoking.
George
Z. Bush says he will run for President in
2036.
Postal
Service raises price of first class stamp to
$17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays
only.
85-year
$75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the
key to weight
loss.
Average
weight of Americans drops to 250
lbs.
Global
cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third
consecutive year in
Mexifornia and
Floruba.
Japanese
scientists have created a camera with such a
fast shutter speed they now can photograph a
woman with her mouth
shut.
Abortion
clinics now available in every
High
School in United
States
.
Senate
still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas
is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas
stations are only open on Tuesdays and
Fridays.
Massachusetts
executes last remaining
conservative.
Supreme
Court rules punishment of criminals violates
their civil
rights.
FAMILY:
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet
seven inches
with
only
3 illegitimate
children.
New
federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers,
fly swatters and
rolled-up newspapers must be registered by
January 2030
IRS
sets minimum tax rate at 75
percent..
Floruba
voters still having trouble with voting
machines.
Now,
send this to whomever you want and as many as
you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will
happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely
nothing, except you might make someone smile or
very very
scared.
I
Love This
Country!
It's
The Government That Scares
Me!
HEADLINES
FROM THE YEAR:
2029
Ozone
created by electric cars now killing millions in
the seventh largest country in the world,
Mexifornia,
formerly
known
as California.
White
minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third
language.
Spotted Owl plague
threatens northwestern United
States crops
and livestock.
Baby conceived
naturally! Scientists
stumped.
Couple petitions
court to reinstate heterosexual
marriage.
Iran still
closed off; physicists estimate it will take at
least 10 more years before radioactivity
decreases to safe
levels.
France
pleads for global help after being taken
over by Jamaica ..
No other country comes forward to help the
beleaguered
nation!
Castro
finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be
imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton
has banned all
smoking.
George
Z. Bush says he will run for President in
2036.
Postal
Service raises price of first class stamp to
$17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays
only.
85-year
$75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the
key to weight
loss.
Average
weight of Americans drops to 250
lbs.
Global
cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third
consecutive year in
Mexifornia and
Floruba.
Japanese
scientists have created a camera with such a
fast shutter speed they now can photograph a
woman with her mouth
shut.
Abortion
clinics now available in every
High
School in United
States
.
Senate
still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas
is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas
stations are only open on Tuesdays and
Fridays.
Massachusetts
executes last remaining
conservative.
Supreme
Court rules punishment of criminals violates
their civil
rights.
FAMILY:
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet
seven inches
with
only
3 illegitimate
children.
New
federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers,
fly swatters and
rolled-up newspapers must be registered by
January 2030
IRS
sets minimum tax rate at 75
percent..
Floruba
voters still having trouble with voting
machines.
Now,
send this to whomever you want and as many as
you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will
happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely
nothing, except you might make someone smile or
very very
scared.
I
Love This
Country!
It's
The Government That Scares
Me!