Stimulus...... Buy American
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:40 am
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment.
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers..
Q. Where will the government get this money.
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money.
A. Just a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will just hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1 spending it at garage sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos
These are the only American businesses still operating in the US
Conclusion:
BUY AMERICAN ... Go to a ball game with a tattooed hooker that you met at a
garage sale and drink beer all day.
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers..
Q. Where will the government get this money.
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money.
A. Just a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will just hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1 spending it at garage sales, or
2 going to ball games, or
3 spending it on prostitutes, or
4 beer or
5 tattoos
These are the only American businesses still operating in the US
Conclusion:
BUY AMERICAN ... Go to a ball game with a tattooed hooker that you met at a
garage sale and drink beer all day.
Ewwww, I love me some Jeffie.... but he would look like some of them "cross dressers" from HBO & Showtime!
