Headlines from 2029

[$parechange]

Year 2029




HEADLINES

FROM THE YEAR:

2029


Ozone

created by electric cars now killing millions in

the seventh largest country in the world,

Mexifornia,

formerly

known

as California.

White

minorities still trying to have English

recognized as Mexifornia's third

language.

Spotted Owl plague

threatens northwestern United

States crops

and livestock.


Baby conceived

naturally! Scientists

stumped.

Couple petitions

court to reinstate heterosexual

marriage.


Iran still

closed off; physicists estimate it will take at

least 10 more years before radioactivity

decreases to safe

levels.

France

pleads for global help after being taken

over by Jamaica ..

No other country comes forward to help the

beleaguered

nation!


Castro

finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be

imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton

has banned all

smoking.




George

Z. Bush says he will run for President in

2036.



Postal

Service raises price of first class stamp to

$17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays

only.



85-year

$75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the

key to weight

loss.



Average

weight of Americans drops to 250

lbs.


Global

cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third





consecutive year in

Mexifornia and

Floruba.



Japanese

scientists have created a camera with such a

fast shutter speed they now can photograph a

woman with her mouth

shut.

Abortion

clinics now available in every
High

School in United

States

.

Senate

still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas

is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas

stations are only open on Tuesdays and

Fridays.


Massachusetts

executes last remaining

conservative.


Supreme

Court rules punishment of criminals violates

their civil

rights.

FAMILY:

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet

seven inches

with
only

3 illegitimate

children.

New

federal law requires that all nail clippers,

screwdrivers,





fly swatters and

rolled-up newspapers must be registered by

January 2030

IRS

sets minimum tax rate at 75

percent..



Floruba

voters still having trouble with voting

machines.

Now,

send this to whomever you want and as many as

you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will

happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely

nothing, except you might make someone smile or

very very

scared.

I

Love This

Country!

It's

The Government That Scares

Me!