LakeCumberlandBoaters.com

Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great.

Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night."

Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight."

While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move.

Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."

OMG!!! LOL!!! (ahhh, now that would do damage to an ego, huh?)

Speaking of "geriatric um.. acrobatics", lol

Thelma had been seen spending alot of time with Harold at the nursing home and Thelma had become to feel like Harold was "hers". Although never much was said, Thelma had been noticing that Harold was wandering around with Louise more than he was with her.

She stewed on this for a few days and finally she caught him alone and was going to get to the bottom of this before it got out of hand. She walks right over to the park bench, sits down and says Harold, I know we can't be a couple but I have been kind of hurt that you're spending more time with Louise. Just tell me what she has that I don't. Harold sits there quiet for a few beats, looks at Thelma and simply says....
Parkinson's (I know, I know.... but I still get this picture in my mind and LOL!!! I am a dirty old lady I guess )

rofl