I had to pass these on.....
Moderators: E_, LC addict, FasterThanYou, crwky
I had to pass these on.....
I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually '
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you’re still black'
Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance,' with a face like that!
A 10 year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Ohbejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.'
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself ... 'I'm going to take that.'
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. You’re in that fuckin' basket.
I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was, Where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know???
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually '
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you’re still black'
Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance,' with a face like that!
A 10 year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.' 'Ohbejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.'
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself ... 'I'm going to take that.'
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. You’re in that fuckin' basket.
I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was, Where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know???
- E_
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Pre2012-Conley Bottom Mostly, Waitsboro, Alligator I&II ramps, Leesford, Pulaski County Park (when it has water), Grider, State Dock (via boat), and Jamestown are a few places you might find me. - Location: Kentucky (Lake Cumberland)
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Re: I had to pass these on.....
LOL, are you kin to Nervous or $pare?
You will fit right in with this crowd...
You will fit right in with this crowd...
Buy American, the job you save just might be your own.
Re: I had to pass these on.....
I personally find these very offensive.... (Holy crap! I'm kidding!)E_HILLMAN wrote:LOL, are you kin to Nervous or $pare?
You will fit right in with this crowd...
But E is correct!
"The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)
Re: I had to pass these on.....
I thought these jokes were terribly offensive and lacking in good taste. And when I got done laughing I knew I had to share with some like minded people!!!
Re: I had to pass these on.....
Cabowabo, if you're not sensitive to "unpolitically correct" comedy, you should watch Tosh.0 or even go to his facebook page if you're on there.... there is some funny chit! But obviously not for the "sensitive" group
Even a broken clock is right twice a day
Re: I had to pass these on.....
Katie - I never miss Tosh!!! I just need to video some of my neighborhood and send it in!
I've been told I'm not the sensitive type lol
I've been told I'm not the sensitive type lol
- E_
- Site Admin
- Posts: 14818
- Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:26 pm
- Marina/Ramp: Currently mostly out of Jamestown but spend a lot of time at the other Marinas.
Pre2012-Conley Bottom Mostly, Waitsboro, Alligator I&II ramps, Leesford, Pulaski County Park (when it has water), Grider, State Dock (via boat), and Jamestown are a few places you might find me. - Location: Kentucky (Lake Cumberland)
- Contact:
Re: I had to pass these on.....
Just noticed ur a Tosh fan... You and Katie are just SICK!
lol
lol
Buy American, the job you save just might be your own.
Re: I had to pass these on.....
OMG.... just plain wrong.....
Thanks... I needed that....
Thanks... I needed that....
Re: I had to pass these on.....
E_HILLMAN wrote:Just noticed ur a Tosh fan... You and Katie are just SICK!
lol
Now there's a pot calling the kettle black!
I might have been called a little colorful at times, but never sick
Even a broken clock is right twice a day
Re: I had to pass these on.....
AMEN!katie wrote:E_HILLMAN wrote:Just noticed ur a Tosh fan... You and Katie are just SICK!
lol
Now there's a pot calling the kettle black!
"The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)