New diet
Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:17 am
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart,
> for my dog. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I
> had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant?
>
> Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I
> didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again,
> although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last
> time.
>
> On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
> intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and
> IVs in both arms.
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
> that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
> eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
> nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
> mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with
> my story by now.)
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
> food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of
> the parking lot to lick my balls and a car hit me. I thought the guy
> behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
>
> WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore !
>
> for my dog. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I
> had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant?
>
> Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I
> didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again,
> although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last
> time.
>
> On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
> intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and
> IVs in both arms.
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
> that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
> eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
> nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
> mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with
> my story by now.)
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
> food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of
> the parking lot to lick my balls and a car hit me. I thought the guy
> behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
>
> WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore !
>
he must have been a liberal...