Mermaid or Whale?

[Jaybird]

Recently, in a large city in Australia ,

a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said, "This summer,

do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"


A middle-aged woman,

whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster,

responded publicly to the question

posed by the gym.


To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)

They have an active sex life,

get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.

They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.

They play and swim in the seas,

seeing wonderful places like Patagonia ,

the Bering Sea

and the coral reefs of Polynesia .

Whales are wonderful singers

and have even recorded CDs.

They are incredible creatures

and virtually have no predators

other than humans.

They are loved, protected and admired

by almost everyone in the world.


Mermaids don't exist.

If they did exist,

they would be lining up outside the offices

of Argentinean psychoanalysts

due to identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don't have a sex life

because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex?

Just look at them ... where is IT?

Therefore, they don't have kids either.

Not to mention,

who wants to get close to a girl who smells

like a fish store?


The choice is perfectly clear to me:

I want to be a whale.


P.S. We are in an age

when media puts into our heads

the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.




With time, we gain weight

because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads

that when there is no more room,

it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy,

we are enormously cultured,

educated and happy.

Beginning today,

when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good grief, look how smart I am!"

[E_]

Wow, she had a lot of anger and resentment built up... LMAO

[$parechange]

She is related to RE3