Two aliens

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Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the
younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in
peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you. '

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again,
there was no response.

Pissed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said
gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader
or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't
want to do that! I really think that will make him mad. '

'Rubbish, ' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and
opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared
towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a
burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked
dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his
big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature! ' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He d@mn
near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous? '

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy
friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my
intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis
over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.