Grandparents

Have fun with some jokes. Just make sure they are not racist, topless, or too offensive. As you can see we are pretty liberal on what is allowed just don't get offended if you push the envelope and something gets deleted. ;-)

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Jaybird
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Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2008 8:48 am

Grandparents

Post by Jaybird »

You don't even need to be a Grandparent to enjoy this, BJ

For the grandparents-to-be and those who already are
GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE
Good morning... At present we are not at home but, please Leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp...
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash and iron your clothes, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, dial 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theatre start talking. We are listening!"

***
If you are not a grandparent you will still love this. If you are, it shows how precious the babies are and what we mean to them.

WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people's.
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Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
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When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
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They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'
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They don't say, 'Hurry up.'
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Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
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They wear glasses and funny underwear.
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They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'
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When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.
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Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
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They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
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GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!
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E_
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Pre2012-Conley Bottom Mostly, Waitsboro, Alligator I&II ramps, Leesford, Pulaski County Park (when it has water), Grider, State Dock (via boat), and Jamestown are a few places you might find me.
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Re: Grandparents

Post by E_ »

I have a pic of Islander with his great great grandmaw from yesterday... LOL
Buy American, the job you save just might be your own.
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katie
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Location: Indiana

Re: Grandparents

Post by katie »

:-o :-o :-o
Even a broken clock is right twice a day ;)
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katie
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Location: Indiana

Re: Grandparents

Post by katie »

Great post Jaybird! :ymapplause:
Even a broken clock is right twice a day ;)
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re3too
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Location: FL

Re: Grandparents

Post by re3too »

katie wrote:Great post Jaybird! :ymapplause:
Agree! :ymapplause: :ymapplause: E's post? Stooopid! :ymtongue: :ymtongue:
"The language of friendship is not words but meaning." (Henry David Thoreau)
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